Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk, and what's more, you are disgustingly drunk." WinstonChurchill: "Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly"
Young man (seeing Churchill leaving the bathroom without washing his hands): "At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet." Winston Churchill: "At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands."
Winston Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?" Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course..." Winston Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?" Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!" Winston Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price."
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